Sorry for the lack of posts. My computer crash, so ain't able to update daily. Yup, i'm using laptop to update. Recently have been going out with my girls :D After that incident happen, i didn't really contact certain people anymore, don't ask me why.. Because i don't feel like contacting. Just.. Utterly disappointed, & upset. Yup, not to worry.. I'll be just fine when school starts.

Later am going to KTV with my girls, Joyce & co. I know it's gonna be fun :D Laughs. I'm gonna see them sing, it's been such a long time since i hang around with them anyway. I've collected the cheque for the scholarship thingy :D Am uber happy cos i can buy what i want. But yup, am gonna transfer a sum of money to mummy. I'm thinking whether should i get a new phone, sigh.. Last week of school holidays! SO FAST ): There's many places i've yet to go, many people i've yet to meet up with. Not to mention, i haven't met him up. So great, 3 weeks of holidays.. We didn't even meet up for one day. I wonder what's wrong with us now. So anyway, i hope holidays can be longer ): So tiring each day to face different challenges. So tiring each day to listen to people's stories, when don't know which is real._. Yup, dumb. Serious, this is crap.

So many problems inside, i also don't know who i can talk to. So many advices i need, yet i don't know who to ask from. I'm lacking of confidence in moving on, i'm demoralised. Really, i'm very tired. Tired of listening to stories from different people when i don't even know which is real. Tired of talking crap to people when they don't even bother to listen to me. Should i change? Should i not bother anyone anymore? Should i not be so softhearted again? Sucks, this feeling sucks. Now is still April, make me so sick. Make me so sick of living, why is time passing so slow? I want this year to end fast, so much so much. I hate school, i hate this course. Sigh, nobody could understand.

Maybe, i'm still childish. Maybe, i'm still not that mature to know what you're thinking. Things between us ain't getting any better. How great it is, that one whole day.. We didn't exchange msg-es. What exactly between us is changing? I told you, even before my holidays that.. I want to meet you, during my holidays. I've so many things wanting to tell you. Great, now all my hopes are gone. Sometimes, i really hope i can cut open your heart, & see where did you place me in your heart. I wrote in the letter, asking those positions in your heart. I remembered you saying that.. Work is your priority. I told you, if friends is second, i'd rather be your friend. I don't want to be last in your heart, you said it clearly that.. We ain't just friends. But then again, you didn't define what's we're not just friends. Each time, i told you about other guys just to see how much you care.. You'll always talk to me in a rather agitated way & say.. We're more than friends. So, now.. What are we? Are we still more than friends, or are we not? I send you a msg last night, telling you.. Maybe when we meet, you'll treat me better. I hope you understand that msg.. I hope you understand what i'm implying. No, i'm not implying that i want to meet you soon. Sigh, i hope you do understand what i actually meant. Having so many questions in mind, i really don't know when i can ask you. I'll never show you that, without you.. I'm actually nothing. I'll never show you that, without you.. I'm actually very sad. But, i'll show you that.. Without you, i'm still strong even if this is so not true. But so what? You'll not mine in anyway. I don't understand this, each time you treat me badly.. & when each time i want to leave, you'll stay me. Hai, i really don't know what am i to you ):

Now i realise, true friends is the ones who will scold you when you did something wrong. & not cover you when she/he know you're wrong. & now that i understand, i hope it isn't too late. I guess i need to go for another checkup soon. Wondering why? Yup, i've been consuming sweetsweet these days non-stop. Serious, is non-stop. I've been drinking bubble tea recently, but alternate days luhs. Once my mood is lousy, you'll see me chewing sweetsweet non-stop. Yet, when my mood is good, i don't know why wouldn't i eat sweetsweet. Lol, weird ain't i? But yup, i've been this way since like secondary school years. Sometimes, i wish i could die early. Tired of living.

Yup, i'll end here. Laptop's battery is going flat soon. Bye, leave a tag pleaseeeee :D