Date : Sunday, March 15, 2009
Time : 1:49 AM
Title : Rantings.

I've been upset recently over certain stuffs. Over friends, over him. Crap, i know. Up to today, i realise.. All along, i'm just a fool infront of people.

I don't know which side is lying, i don't know who should i trust. Really, this make me speechless. Being neutral is just so difficult, i don't know which side to believe ): This held me back, i don't know who can i talk to in future. I really can't trust anyone now ): I thought, things will be just fine. But all along, i'm just like a big fool infront of people. I feel like leaving, i've the urge of doing so )': I'm confused. One side telling me this, & another side telling me that. Who should i believe? I don't bother much, i don't bother so much anymore. I'm tired of listening to people's tales. I've so much things wanting to say out, i seriously can't stand it already ): Should i? Hais, i'm troubled :/ I'll put it this way, i won't believe either side. I'll just.. Observe, & someday.. I'll find out the truth myself.

There's certain things, i wish i never know. There's certain things, i wish i could turn back the time. & that, i'll never ask anything ): I regret, regret asking. Regret doing certain things to lead to today. Yes, not to deny.. I've a feeling. Yes, all along.. I've a feeling inside. Serious, i feel that.. However wish that it's not true. Ever since that day, we never talk much anymore. Ever since that day, i've a feeling that you no longer likes me. I thought maybe it's me who is sensitive, so i went to ask someone. Even she says.. Hais, i went speechless immediately. I don't know what else to add on. I don't know why & what you're doing right now. After one incident, my impression towards you change totally. Really, seems that you're just using me. From then, i no longer want to talk much to you. That's because, i can't really seems to believe in whatever you're saying. That night, you called & tell me alot of stuffs about *. You told me how unhappy you're with *. So yes, i helped you. In the end? What's happening? The very next day, suddenly you & * is good friends like that. End up, * hates me. What crap is this? I'm disappointed in you, deep down. I don't know what else to add on, speechless :/

; Love, i'm thinking through alot of things these days. Days without you, seems that time is passing by so slowly. Days without you, i seems nothing. I don't know what to do right now, & you're no longer there to tell me what to do. I'm glad that at least, you still cared. But is this the truth that you still cared? Or.. You're just caring for a simple friend? You're gone, i no longer sees you. You left me behind, who will dry my tears when i cry? This few days, i really wish you're here. Nobody else can replace you so easily, why can't you understand this? Hais, i hope you know how important you're in my life. People say to give up, people say to let go.. Saying is easy, but doing is hard, so hard. I tried not to msg you, i tried not to call you. But, i missed you so much so much )': When will you ever turn back & take a look at me? I wish i could turn back the time, & i'll never say anything anymore ): If the time can turn back, i promise.. I'll not be childish anymore )': I promise.. I'll never tell you nonsensical things anymore )': All i want now is, just a meet up. I've many things want to ask & tell you. So much things, i know.. You'll never get to hear anymore. I want to ask you, how much i still meant. But somehow.. I've no courage in knowing that answer ): Love, i miss you so much so much. Hais. I'm waiting, waiting for your return.

I wish that, this never happens on me ):
Until today, then i realise that i'm a fool. I'm disappointed. Utterly disappointed, hais. Nobody will understand how i feel deep within.

Am i not a good friend enough? Ain't i always helping when needed? I feel so disappointed, i feel that.. Nobody's true ): Or isit true that, i'm just being used? I'm confused, i'm desperately looking for the answer. Someone, answer me.. Can? Someone, assure me that i'm not being used.. Can? Hais, i feel so useless. Being used, still don't know anything. People must be laughing at how pathetic i'm in right now. Go ahead & laugh then :/ I'm laughing at myself as well, great. I'm laughing, for i'm being used :D infact, it's true that.. I'm a dumbo. Infact, it's true that.. I'm naive. This is crap, so crap. Hais.

No mood to add on. Byeee.