Date : Saturday, March 7, 2009
Time : 1:36 PM
Title : Random.

Alright, i'm fine already :D thanks for concern, people. Nah, not that i'm okay with him already. Just.. Know that i should think positively. Yesterday's cries make me think alot. Yes, i should stand up from where i fall. I don't know how long i'll take, but i know.. There's people who's willing to wait til i stand up from where i'd fell (:

Mistakes make people stronger. Learn from mistakes, don't repeat it. I want to learn from my mistake, not to fall for someone so hard, til i can't get out when i need to. After this complicated relationship, i know i won't go into relationship for a few months. I know i'll need a long time to really forget everything, & to move on with my life happily. From the start, people have been telling me how difficult will this relationship be if i want to continues with him. I didn't bother, i didn't put what they say into my heart. I just knew.. If i'm with him, i know that everything is nothing.. He's the one that counts, that meant everything for that period. He used to reject his friend's meeting just to meet me, he used to sacrifice many things just for me. Things changed, now.. We're in a real bad condition. First time, i'm really really tired to continue. I want to let things go, for he's never mine. He'll never be mine one day, everything will go one day as well. It's the matter of time, even if i enjoy the next few months, years with him.. He's still gonna have his own family afterwhich.

Loving him, many things i no longer can do. Going out openly with him, is just so difficult. We're just like 2 criminals, hiding from people's view & stuffs. All these is difficult. & that's the reason, he spent so much money on me. Whether isit because he missed me, or just wanted to find someone to talk to.. Don't really bothers me much now.

Forgetting him, i know i cannot do it.. I'm still learning how to go on with days without msg-ing him, without talking to him. It seems easy, but.. It's really really difficult for me. I tried going for someone else when he didn't talk to me for 2 months, but i failed. My feelings for him, afterall didn't fade away. Things are about to end soon, but i'm still the naive, silly one who stood by him.. Waiting for his turn back. I know that it's time, it's time to move on. It's time to put this down, & start living my life a happy one. It's time to let him go. It's really time. I'll, i'll try to stop, stop everything that will make me to stay again :/ I can't promise i can forget him fast, but i can promise.. I'll try to forget him.

You're just like a kite, if i held on too tightly.. The string will breaks, & i'll never get you back anymore. Now, i've fly you too high.. I'm trying my best to keep you back. The string is breaking soon, yet.. I haven't keep you back. Am i a failure? A loser?

; I miss everything we once done, i miss all the words you said.. I miss the way you lie on my leg & sleep. I miss you patting me to sleep, i miss you kissing my tears away. I miss you hugging me tightly. I just.. Miss everything of you ): I want you back, i really want you back. I've many things to ask you. I haven't clear all my doubts yet, love ):