Date : Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Time : 8:28 PM
Title : Random thoughts.

Reading all the posts that i wrote in the past, make me smile & tear. I don't know what makes me read back, but yea.. I just read it just now. The words in my posts, brings back alot of memories. Recalling him telling me that he miss me over phone 3 times a day, made me smile. Recalling him cutting his hand because of me, make me tear. All these contains such beautiful memories. Things between us is in a rather bad condition right now, & seriously.. I'm not happy at all. Telling how much i miss you, don't help. Asking you when can we meet again, you wouldn't even bother to reply me. I guess, this is really the end. I couldn't do anything to change all these anymore. I felt so useless, for i can't make this relationship back to the sweet one.

If you say that you didn't change, then i guess.. It's your feeling that has fade. You're so sweet in the past, telling me how much you like me & stuffs. But right now, you don't even bother replying me. What am i suppose to do? I feel so helpless. I'm scared. I'm all alone right now, i really don't know what i can do )': I miss you, i miss you so much. So much so much, i wish you could appear right infront of me now.. & which, i'll give you a tight hug, & ask you never to leave me again. Maybe, you're getting tired in me. Maybe this, maybe that.. But all this seems to be negative. I cannot think positively, because i know that.. It won't help. I've difficulties in letting you go. All the words you say, seems to be a lie. I don't know how to bring myself in believing you again. Cos the answer to why you suddenly ignore me, is inside my heart. I don't know who i can tell the answer to. I'm confused. How i hope my answer is wrong. I wanted the real reason, yet you don't want to tell me. Isit because something that i did wrong? Hais, i'm really really puzzled.

I really don't know what you want. Whenever i ask you whether to end this, you'll reply saying that this period of time you're busy. I don't want this reply. I want a reply, that contains the answer that i'm asking. Isit so hard to answer me? You make my heart ache so much so much. I feel that.. I'm such a loser. Without knowing any answer, i've been crying helplessly over & over again. I really don't know what i could do now. Without anybody with me, i'm scared )': I'm scared that i've no one else i could rely on anymore.

Love, i miss you so much so much ):