Date : Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Time : 4:24 PM
Title : You don't understand me at all.

Tags Reply:

Dorothy: Evil Twin (:
Reply:- What evil twin lehs, anyhow only. Laughs. Seeya soon yea :D

Pearline: Hey, have a good sleep. oh && i miss you.
Reply:- Miss me, then ask me out lo. Let's go out soon alright.

Chanel: TIFFANY CHUA ! see eu soon , ahahahhs . ya , ahahahs . i see eu use chinese and blog like can express better soo i also use chinese and blog , indeed can express better . lol . *laughs*
Reply:- Yea, will see in 13th April. Oh, i see.

Sarah: YOOOO~! So how's life without me? LOL!
Reply:- Life without you is so great :D Laughs. & someone no heart, holidays never ask me out one lo. I hate you! ):

Zhiyin: BIXINNNNNNNNNNNNNNN, WHY YOU TYPE CHINESE WORDS? I DONT KNOW HOW TO READ.
Reply:- I purposely post in chinese don't want give you read one mah. Laughs.

Nadiah: heyhey ! remember me ?? =D of coz i remember la .. my use to be classmate . im lazy to continue sch . thats whyy . hehs . (:
Reply:- Of cos i remembered you :D Oh, i see. Hmmm, we don't really chat in class one mah, so i thought you never really remember me. Hahahaha :D

Date : Saturday, March 28, 2009
Time : 7:41 PM
Title : Sigh..

I wanted you to be there when i fall.

Things ain't getting better for me. I feel so helpless, i feel so lost. Things isn't going the way i wanted. I don't know who i can talk to, i don't know what i can do now. I guess, i'm not independent enough. I'm just so afraid, i don't know why either. I'm afraid of losing everyone ): I'm afraid of being alone, i don't want to be alone. Am i crazy? Am i depressed? Am i too emotional? Am i childish? I don't know, i really don't know.

I don't know when i'll be fine, cos now i know.. It's not ang that causes me this way. I don't want April to come, definitely there's reasons to it. I really don't know what else i could do. Sigh, am i really that useless? I can't handle things well at all. I so feel like a failure ): Sigh..

; I missed you, so much so much. I wished, time could turnback. I wished, i could meet you soon. I've so much so much to tell you, i've so much so much wanting to hear from you. I want to hug you, cos i don't know whether will i've another chance to do so in future :/

I'll be back, when things get better for me. I don't know when, but i know i'll.

Date : Friday, March 27, 2009
Time : 5:04 PM
Title : I feel so stress ):

I'm getting more & more emotional each day.

My mood is damn bad these days for i don't know why either. I guess because my ang came finding me like 2 days ago. & i totally have got no mood. My nose hurt like nobody's business, & my ang came like nobody's business. Feel super pekcek at times when things don't go smoothly for me.

Mentioning of things isn't going the way i want, i guess i'm falling sick. Everyday i wakeup, i keep having severe headaches. Seriously pain like hell okey. I don't know, initially i thought that maybe is because i poke back the stick back into my nose, then cause the blueblack or something. But now i guess not, now pain until i bite food or hard things also pain ): Complained to mummy, & she say that it's pimple? She say is from inside one. Hais, i also don't know. I very sad, very very sad! ): I just feel like crying, for i don't know why either. I don't want April to come, i don't want to. I don't know how to explain why i don't want it to come. Hais, i need to talk to someone. I feel so troubled inside. Hai~ 心里好不舒服，好痛好痛。

I haven't been eating my medicines, or should i put it this way.. I haven't even touch my medicine. I don't like medicines ): 很苦很苦。I feel so useless, such a small medicine i also can't swallow )': I've not been controlling my diet these days, i've been eating alot of sweet stuffs this few days, i've been drinking alot of sweet drinks again. I just can't control, people who know me well will know that whenever i'm moody, i need to eat sweetsweet ): I don't know what else i could do right now. I feel so helpless, i feel so lost )':

I don't know isit because of my angs, that cause me this way. Or isit another. Sigh..

你好小气，到现在还在生我的气。不要说没有，你对我好冷淡。我很不开心，我好不喜欢你这样对我。可是，我已经没办法叫你别生我的气了。好累哦，你不累吗？对不起，我知道这次是我没有把你说的话当真。不过，我不是道歉了吗？你还要我怎样你才满意？嗨~

Date : Thursday, March 26, 2009
Time : 10:17 PM
Title : I'm Sorry.

对不起，让你担心了。我不知道你会那么的关心我，谢谢。你告诉我你很担心，却我都没理你，我还把你说的话当成玩笑来开。现在你生气了，我才发现你说你担心是真的。我不懂，可能当初我根本都没把你放在我的眼里。你生气，不理我。我也不懂为什么现在我将不开心。我用好多办法叫你别再生气了，但是我还时失败了。对不起，我已经不懂怎样你才不会生我的气 ):

Writing down in Chinese is much more better for me, because what i want to say is all in Chinese, & definitely.. I don't know how to translate to English. So yea, i thought that after a day, he won't be angry anymore. But nah, i'm wrong :/

Anyway.. I didn't had a good sleep. I went to bed at like 4plus? & gotta wakeup at 7plus for dinner. Seriously, i'm yawning while updating blog ._. Crap, i know. But i want to watch my show at 12am! It's niceeeee :D My nose is painnnn! ): I don't know why either, blueblack okay! Maybe not obvious at all luhs, but the pain is like machiam blueblack like that lo! It's pain de please. Tsktsk. Today's isn't really a great day i guess. One whole day, just one msg from love. Great?! Laughs. I missed him );

Gonna go watch television already. Byeeee :D

Date :
Time : 3:15 PM
Title : I'd fun :D

I'm tiredddd.

I didn't took photos at all, hais. Class BBQ like so few people only lo. Disappointed. Thought can see all, but all i see yesterday is all studying at Simei ITE ones. Laughs. All the others went off early, i think. Or maybe it's us who arrives late. Lol. Didn't stay long over there, cos it's kinda bored. I send Weichi over to bus-stop, while Kailian & Michelle went over to NTUC to buy some snacks. Love called me at around 9pm to chat, didn't chat for long. Cos he've got works to do. So yea, i end the call unwillingly. Standard, then he'll kinda laugh at me. Cos he say i sad very funny ): So yea, meet Yeetheng inside the bus. Just nice alight the bus saw Kailian & Michelle. Laughs. So decided on what to do during midnight, after deciding real long.. We decided to play mahjong & monopoly. Lol. I went home with Michelle, while Kailian went home with Yeetheng. I bathe over at Michelle's while waiting for the two. Yea, we played monopoly first. It was real boring okey! Tsktsk. Then change to play mahjong :D It was funnnnn~ First 16 rounds me & Michelle lose money okey! But it's just those chips luhs. Laughs. Next 16 rounds i won :D & i won all 3 of their money okey! Hahahahahaha. Seeeeeee, i already say must treat the cards nice nice liao, cannot throw. Lol! Kept laughing non-stop okey! Omgomgomg, i can't imagine me not sleeping the whole night lehs! Not feeling tired okay! First time. Laughs. Went to sleep at 7plus 8am. Mummy kept calling me asking me go home buy them breakfast, cos brother's sick. Crap right?! Went home at 1pm cos i was super irritated by the calls. Yea, home & bathe. Freshen up abit, but i'm tired already. Gotta go bed after this post.

Half way through the night, i'd a small quarrel with someone which i won't state name. He suddenly say me, which makes me feel so terrible inside okay. End up also i go pacify him. But i guess he's still angry with me, for he didn't reply. But yea, it's okay. I can't be bothered either.

I'd fun with my 3 ladies yesterday :D More to come okay? Laughs, more mahjong session to comeeee. It's funnnnn~ Hahahahaha. & i'll try not to win so much next time. Laughs.

Okay, that's all. Byeeeee :D

Tags Reply:

Cherie: Link me up k ^^
Reply: Link-ed (:

Sarah: Hate me uh? I think you cant bear to laaa! I so the CUTEEEEEEEEEEE! *self praise -.- Hmmmm.. miss me ma?
Reply: Of cos i hate you. Laughs. & you cute? AHEMAHEM. Hahahaha. & miss you? Oh, i almost forget that my friends got Sarah this girl lehs. Laughs.

Imah: Haven't also. when will we received it ? i forgot uh. do you have any idea when?
Reply: Our CA said before is like end of March? Then he say if never receive must go ask the CC lehs. Lol.

Date : Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Time : 1:39 PM
Title : Shut up.

I'm happyyyyyy :D

Later am heading over to Michelle's to put my things down. Imagine i bring my babies over to BBQ? That's definitely a no way because there's those no nice smell okay! Hurhur. I'm still thinking which babies to bring over, & oh.. I'm staying over :D I don't know if they're happy, but definitely i'm happy :D & laughs, i forced them to say YAY! Hahahahaha. So yep, i won't be updating about today's BBQ. But i'm sure that i'll enjoy myself :D Hehheh. I'm gonna take many many many photos today.

Just a short post today. I'm going to do things already. So yea, til here. Byeee :D

; I guess you're disappointed. Don't say you're, cos.. I'm much more dissapointed than you're. It's too late, i guess. There's more chance to come, i guess. So yea, i'll be waiting for that chance to come. But nevertheless, thanks for trying. You're loveddddddd~

NOT FORGETTING, IT'S ME & WIFE'S ANNIVERSARY! :D

Time flies, when we become wife that day.. We're still 15 years old. & now, we're turning 17 years old shortly. These years, i thank you so much for being there for me without fail. Be it in the early morning(s), late night(s).. You'll still be there. I can't imagine if you ain't there anymore for me one day, i know i'll break down in tears. Luckily that, even if we're not in the same class.. Our relationship didn't really drift apart :D & yea, i'll be waiting for mine in your blog. Laughs. & yea, love me moreeeeeee! :B I love youuuu, wife :D

Date : Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Time : 10:29 PM
Title : Rantings.

Huge disappointment.

Initially, i thought i could overnight at either place. But i guess, this thought just vanish into the thin air the moment mummy called daddy & ask. Crap, giving me so much hope & stuffs. Ending up, it's all false hopes. Disappointed. I was telling love how happy i was & stuffs over the phone, but then.. He told me not to be too happy over it even if i said that if daddy never reply, means i can stay overnight. I should have listen to him instead of being so over the moon for nothing. Ended up, getting nothing but disappointment ):

I don't understand, why are other people's parents not worried about their daughters of staying overnight at other places, yet mine are so worried? I'm old enough to think, i know what i'm doing. Or maybe, they don't trust me enough that i love myself. Or maybe, they still have the thinking plant inside that i'll get pregnant one fine day. I'm such a huge laughing stock to people right now, fancy a 17 year old girl have no much freedom. Great.

That stupid dumb idiot keep making me jealous okey! He keep telling me say he want go find other girls already, then when i keep quiet & didn't answer him. He's there laughing at me! Those evil laugh okey! He's a stupid dumb idiot retard & whatever. I'm gonna strangle him one fine day with my own hands :D Laughs, or maybe hire those people to do a clean job for me? Hmmm. Okay, i'm just trying to keep myself happy :/ I totally have no mood right now, hais. But i'm happy, that love told me that we'll meet soon :D But right, thinking of the overnight thingy, arghs. Super sad okey! ):

Date :
Time : 1:59 PM
Title : If you could stay.

Every moment spent with you, is every moment of treasure.

I'd a dream, although i dreamt of love.. But at that very moment, i swear i could open my eyes. Serious, the dream is super duper digusting. No, i didn't dream of us doing whatever. I dreamt of his mummy, i dreamt that his mummy call me say want to meet me. Then i went to find her right, her hair got many many worms. Imagine you want to open your eyes yet you can't? Then i still remember clearly that i eee to his mummy okay. Laughs. This is just a dream luhs, & definitely won't come true. Cos i'll never get to see his mummy. If i get to see her, means i'm seeing something else :/ Laughs, you'll never understands lahs.

Anyway, went to Whitesands earlier on to buy my breakfast cum lunch :D I go alone okay! Independent aye? Praise me then. Hahahaha. Bought my nose stud as well, & pearl milk tea :D I know i should control luhs, but right.. I don't know why as well, this few days i'm craving for sweet things. But i haven't been eating sweetsweet le okay! ): So still acceptable? I guess so :/ Tomorrow's the day :D I'm gonna enjoy myself with mates. I'm still not sure whether can stay over at Michelle's, but yea.. Nothing's gonna spoil my mood tomorrow :D Hopefully there's no rain tomorrow, if not really spoil ): Tsktsk.

; Why must i be so good to you when you don't deserve it? Laughs. I really despise you, girl. I see no point being so good to someone, who don't appreciate it. Did you really treat me as your friend? Touch your heart & tell me. Lol. Serious, having you or without you, i've nothing to lose. But i can promise you, without me.. You'll regret. Cos there's no one else you can find who is so willing each time to help you do stuffs without complaining. Don't believe? You can go on doing all these actions, & you'll know it one day. Laughs. One advice to you.. If you continue thinking that you're the princess, & having such a bad attitude, you'll lose many friends. Not only me yea? Lol.

Conversation with Pearline. So cooool. Lols.


Tags Reply:

Chanel: obviously , i view everyone's blog just tt nvr tag
de okay .
Reply: Oh. Then? Laughs. The post is already like gone. Forget about the post then (:

Imah: Hello preetyhead. btw, did you get the cheque thingy that our CA told us? CDC.
Reply: Haven't lehs. You receive alr?

Pearline: Here your tag! don't say i never tag you hor. hehes.
Reply: Wah, so good lehs you. Laughs. & now we're chatting over at msn. Hahaha.
Loveyouuu :D

Okay, i'll end here. Byeee :D
P/S: I missed you. What about you?

Date : Monday, March 23, 2009
Time : 3:19 PM
Title : It don't matters.

I enjoyed yesterday pretty much although i stayed at home the whole day. Slept til like 12plus going 1pm i guess. Yea, woken up by love's msg. Pretty shocked upon receiving his msg though. Laughs. Yea, lunch & then watch television all the way. Wanted to update my blog, but totally not in the mood to do so. That explains why didn't i update my yesterday. Sing sang sung, then ate cake :D Laughs, durian flavour one okay. It's niceeee. Yea, smashing time. I hid behind the washing machine when he's bathing. Okay, i'm hiding as if he can't see me ._. Squat until my leg cramp he still haven't come out. Tsktsk. Stand up & walked to find sister, then he come out from toilet ._. Yea, he knew we're playing. & instead of us making his face, he make us. Laughs. I kena my hair okay! Pathetic. Then i walked to the kitchen, to like take the plate & piak on his face. Lol. Cooooool. Hahahahaha. Watch television again, & played computer games.

Laughs, mummy give a stupid idea about disturbing daddy when he's back. Cos daddy's not home at like 12plus? Laughs. Then mummy ask sister to like use her cup to pour downstair when daddy park his motorcycle. Then for no reason, mummy suggest using the much more bigger container. Lol, those use to water plants that one luhs. Then i was like saying.. Later other block people thought that there's 3 crazy girls standing outside the house at like 1plus. Then mummy say.. If we wear white people sure say that there's 3 ghosts outside. Hahahaha. Then sister say.. Later they call police uh. Laughs. Super like drama please. Around 1.45am like that, daddy came back. Then me & mummy was laughing like mad, then sister went to pour water down. But missed! Tsktsk. Then all of us ran back inside, then fakefake sleep. Can't stand lehs. Hahahaha. Slept at around 2plus going 3am :D

Waking up at 1plus today. Laughs, decided to order macdonalds for breakfast cum lunch. The weather is super duper hot, how can walk out of the house? Sure melt de please :/ Yea, & now i'm here updating :D Today's another day staying at home. Gonna sleep aftermath.

; I wonder when will we meet up. I wonder if thing's gonna be okay for us. I hope that things are gonna stay. Your sudden reply, kinda shock me. But yea, i'm super happy upon receiving your simple reply. & i'm glad that we start talking again. I miss you, so much so much. & i really want to see you again :/

Tags Reply:

Sarah: LOL! You always so fierece to meee one lor! Sad le.
Reply: Laughs. I where got fierce lehs. Don't anyhow leh. I love you so much, where will fierce one? Now you hurt me. & now i hate you. Lol.

Chanel: wah not fair sia , why gort everyone's name and expecially no my name ??? NOT FAIR NOT FAIR .
Reply: Laughs, you got read my blog one ar? Hahahaha. I'm lazy to like write everyone's name luhs. Who say not fair lehs, i'm so fair. Laughs.

Date : Saturday, March 21, 2009
Time : 11:45 PM
Title : Could you stay?

Wondering why i'm updating only at this time? Lols, i attended a wedding dinner just now :D It's a last minute decision that i'm going with them luhs. Hahahaha. So yea, didn't really like prepare well enough on what i'm wearing & stuffs. I simply just wear one set of clothing. It's like, Lol. A piece of top, & shorts? Laughs, i know it's abit casual. But who cares~ :D Yea, the dinner was great although it was kinda boringggg. Laughs. Homed at around 11plus like that, bathe & here i am updating blog :D

Holidays is hereeeee! :D 3 weeks not going to school is kinda weird though, but yea.. I'm gonna sleep til late late everyday. Lol. Please ask me out, i've 3 weeks of freetime okey. Laughs. Ohoh, i'm meeting Wilson, & Weifeng soon. I need to get some 'men' stuff. Hahahaha. & i definitely need their help. Tsktsk. I'm stupid okay, i don't know how & where should i get it though.

Marilyn, Sarah, Zhiyin, Pearline, Amanda & rest.. Omg, imagine 3 weeks never see me? Lol, i bet you girls will miss me like crazy liao please. Hehheh. Ohoh, i want to watch Hotel for Dogs. Laughs, i'll plan one day we go out okay. Please kindly don't be a spoiler & say you don't want to go ._. Laughs. Loveyouuu(s) :D

Girls, omgomgomg.. I'm gonna enjoy Wednesday with you 3 :D I'm still not sure whether can i stay over at Michelle's, but yea.. I'm gonna try asking. Pray for me then. Hahahahaha :D Loveyouuu(s).

Okay, byeee :D

Date : Friday, March 20, 2009
Time : 4:38 PM
Title : I wanted you.

It's a blessing, that i know you.

School as usual. But yea, have got a great feeling inside though. Today is the last day of school, seriously am happy okays :D Laughs. Sad lo, hais.. Gotten OFC project, deadline on 24 April. Either doing about Banking & Finance, or Current Affairs >.< Yea, over to cafe 1 for lunch with mates, then to find Mr.Liew to collect ez-link card. Omg, it looks ugly can? Tsktsk ): Aftermath, meet Weichi then bus over to polyclinic to collect my report.

Laughs. The doctor that time make a mistake, is 4.4/6.0. Like siao please, make me worry for so long. Yea, gotten report. It goes higher abit :x Now is 4.6/6.0. Yea, doctor ask my drink many many water. He say.. above 7 then is diabetes. Keep saying must careful luhs, can't take too much sweet & stuffs. Gahhh :C Collected my medicine, & headed to Tampines Mall for lunch. Bused home aftermath, & i'm here updating now :D

Yea, i'm going to sleep after this. Please congrats me alright?! Laughs, i get such a good sugar level lehs. Hahahaha. Okay, byeee :D Will start doing my OFC project tomorrow. I guess i'll stuck. Tsktsk.

; Love, i miss you >.<

Tags Reply:

Sarah: Sweets? Give who? Me? LOL!
Sarah: Wahhh! Group photo sehh! LOL! I didnt post ): And school tml! Loves <3
Reply: Laughs. You lazy of cos never post luhs. Lol. Loves. & oh, i never intend to give you sweet lehs. Lols. I'm evil. Hahahahaha. Loveyouuu.

Zhiyin: online talk to me. i got something to ask you about sbm
Reply: Okays.

Michelle: I know who is the person ler!! *evil laugh*
Reply: Wow, first time know you so fast lehs. Must give you a prize liaos please. Laughs.

Amanda Lim: hey dont be down smile... and ya link already...:)
Reply: Lol, thanks for linking :D & yea, i'll smileeeeee. Loveyouuu.

Date : Thursday, March 19, 2009
Time : 8:58 PM
Title : I want you back, can?

Like i mention in my previous post, i'm giving school a miss. Yea, didn't went to school today :D but still.. I wake up at a super early time. At around 8.45am like that. Laughs. Make my hair & went to bathe. Wake mummy up aftermath, then went to polyclinic wanting to collect my report. Serious, the nurse there totally piss me off. I asked politely, because the doctor gave me an appointment today. Laughs, then the nurse super attitude lo. Hais, i'll not go there to see doctor anymore mans. Tomorrow am going back to take the report. The nurse there is crazy de please. I told her i'll take tomorrow, like crazy please.. So many people still expect me to wait for so long uhs? >.<

Went for breakfast with mummy :D Then she bring me over to Yeetheng's house, Kailian came over & went over to bus stop to meet up with Michelle. Dhoby Ghaut to meet Guo Ming, & Cathay to meet Weifeng. Bought tickets for Coming Soon at 3.45pm, yea.. Headed for lunch, Weifeng & Guoming went to play pool.. While the girls went to play other games, & sit down to see the guys play >.< Yea, back to Cathay for the show. Yea, watched it for the second time. I know it's a waste of money, but i just feel like watching the second time lehs. Laughs. Still scary, but the scene didn't stay long in my mind already. Lols. Movie ended, & headed for late lunch :D Okay, only i eat. Laughs. They so nice to accompany me go. Hahahaha. Aftermath, went around the mall to kill time. Headed over to MRT station, & chat about for like 10 minutes? Laughs. Headed home aftermath. Reached home at around 7plus :D I'm happy today :D Serious, although it was a short period of time.. But yea, i enjoyed time spend with theeeem. More to come okey, Laughs.

Omgomgomg, today love actually asked me about my report thingy. I'm super duper happy okay :D I hope things will get better for us. I've so many things i've yet to ask, i'm waiting for a chance. & of cos, i do believe in miracle. I know that i'll have a chance to ask him :D

Alright, i'm getting my EZ-Link card tomorrow. I know it'll be super duper ugly ): Tsktsk. Byeeee :D

Date : Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Time : 8:28 PM
Title : Random thoughts.

Reading all the posts that i wrote in the past, make me smile & tear. I don't know what makes me read back, but yea.. I just read it just now. The words in my posts, brings back alot of memories. Recalling him telling me that he miss me over phone 3 times a day, made me smile. Recalling him cutting his hand because of me, make me tear. All these contains such beautiful memories. Things between us is in a rather bad condition right now, & seriously.. I'm not happy at all. Telling how much i miss you, don't help. Asking you when can we meet again, you wouldn't even bother to reply me. I guess, this is really the end. I couldn't do anything to change all these anymore. I felt so useless, for i can't make this relationship back to the sweet one.

If you say that you didn't change, then i guess.. It's your feeling that has fade. You're so sweet in the past, telling me how much you like me & stuffs. But right now, you don't even bother replying me. What am i suppose to do? I feel so helpless. I'm scared. I'm all alone right now, i really don't know what i can do )': I miss you, i miss you so much. So much so much, i wish you could appear right infront of me now.. & which, i'll give you a tight hug, & ask you never to leave me again. Maybe, you're getting tired in me. Maybe this, maybe that.. But all this seems to be negative. I cannot think positively, because i know that.. It won't help. I've difficulties in letting you go. All the words you say, seems to be a lie. I don't know how to bring myself in believing you again. Cos the answer to why you suddenly ignore me, is inside my heart. I don't know who i can tell the answer to. I'm confused. How i hope my answer is wrong. I wanted the real reason, yet you don't want to tell me. Isit because something that i did wrong? Hais, i'm really really puzzled.

I really don't know what you want. Whenever i ask you whether to end this, you'll reply saying that this period of time you're busy. I don't want this reply. I want a reply, that contains the answer that i'm asking. Isit so hard to answer me? You make my heart ache so much so much. I feel that.. I'm such a loser. Without knowing any answer, i've been crying helplessly over & over again. I really don't know what i could do now. Without anybody with me, i'm scared )': I'm scared that i've no one else i could rely on anymore.

Love, i miss you so much so much ):

Date :
Time : 4:25 PM
Title : School is great.

School was fine :D CRN common test was fine as well. I reached the school on the dot. Laughs. Aftermath, went to cafe 2 for lunch with Weifeng. Yeetheng & Michelle come over to find me, then decided to give school a miss tomorrow. Yea, going Dhoby Ghaut. With Weifeng along. We're going to catch a movie tomorrow :D Lols. Afterthat was P.E, i didn't want to play. But teacher keep say last lesson lehs, make me guilty. Machiam we no more P.E in future lehs >.<

Holidays is coming :D & i'm super happy about it. I've so much things i want to do during these holidays. Like.. Meeting mates for shopping. & meeting my girls for catch up. & of cos, most importantly.. I gotta meet love. I've so much things haven't tell him yet. Tsktsk.

Okay, gtg. Byeee :D

Date : Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Time : 5:48 PM
Title : I'm happy, now.

Things are fine already :D Yea, finally a proper post. Laughs. School was great :D Wakeup at 8am, to make my hair.. Bathe & wake mummy up. Lols, i lazy take bus though. First lesson was self study lo. Should have went at 10am instead._. OFC common test was fineeeee :D To my surprise, i can do it without copying okeys. Laughs. Went to East Point for lunch with Zhiyin, Pearline, Amanda, Cherie & Weifeng. Yea, things between me & Weifeng was fine already. Had a talk, & the talk was rather fierce. Lols. But at least things are fine already :D I was rather pissed off after lunch, for i don't know what reason either. Just walked off on my own. Don't know what's wrong with me either, just recalled of certain things.. Then don't feel like talking at all. Was much better at Starbucks :D Yea, walked back to school at around 1plus for OSA lesson. Did my powerpoint, til about 3plus like that.. Then left for home :D Had a small quarrel with love. Tsktsk. But nevermind, i ain't sad :}

Ohoh, i love this songgg :D Laughs. Yea, this is one of the show's song. Found it while browsing through Zhiyin's phone. & I fell in love with this song okeys :D Lols. Tomorrow am having CRN common test, yea.. Wish me goodluck, people ^^ I'm not really scared of this paper lehs, cos i got study? Yea, studyyyy~ Hehheh. Lols, please praise me.. I finished the OSA powerpoint project already :D Yes, i finished. Ain't kidding okeys! Lols.

; Love, am glad that we start talking again. I don't know why, this time round.. I didn't even got upset with the reply of yours. I just felt nothing inside. Yea, but you're still important to me love :D You're lovedddd~

Alright, i want go study for CRN already. Byeee :D

Date : Monday, March 16, 2009
Time : 11:20 PM
Title : Friends?

I've such sweet friends :D serious. Though everytime we've conflicts & stuffs, but nevertheless. They'll do things to cheer me up. & yea, i loveeeeeee them to the max please. Hehheh. Thanks Sarah for the msn thingy :D she told me not to post it up ): Tsktsk. If not i can show the whole world how sweet she is. Laughs. Thanks Pearline for the email, though it didn't really make me laugh, but yea. Thanks for trying anyway :D hehheh. I'm waiting for Zhiyin's joke lehs. Laughs. She sure can make me laugh one please, with her KUKU face of hers. Wow, i know she's gonna tag me with my chinese name liao. Hahahaha. I love you three, sweetieeeeeees :D

Anyway.. Kailian, i viewed your blog. & saw what you reply already.
Laughs, who say i got new friends don't want you girls liao lehs? You 3 still third in my heart lehs. Don't think too much okeys :D Then my current friends fourth in heart lehs. Must be touched de please. Laughs. Anyway, we're gonna meet during 25th March :D Laughs,anyway, still love you girls okeyyyyy :D Let's meet out soon, on 25th March, we're gonna have fun yea? :D From now to 25th March right, don't miss me too much. Laughs.

Alright, nothing much to post. Gotta get going to bed, tomorrow having OFC common test. Wish me luck, people. Laughs.

Date :
Time : 6:10 PM
Title : I'm tired of all these.

I thought.. Today i could have a proper post, but i guess not. I totally have no mood into blogging a proper post, i just have got so much to say.

What are friends for? Yea, i admit.. I'm crazy, hyper, kept on having moodswings. But, ain't i a good friend? Hais, i don't know what to say. I'm speechless.
; I guess you'll read it, so yea.. I'll just type down what i want to say here. If nobody tells me, are you intending to hide from me, forever? Hais, i'm disappointed in you. I'm speechless, how well i treat you.. You should know it well from the bottom of your heart. So well, how did you treat me in return? Lol, great. I'm like a fool for you to play around with. I'm sorry then, sorry for not meeting what you expect from a friend. I know i failed you badly, sorry then. Maybe i'm not well enough to be your friend. I'm sorry, & thanks for everything.

Seriously, i've so many questions to ask. Why isit that both sides are telling me different things? Two different stories, said by one person. Two other different stories when i asked the person itself. Seriously, who am i suppose to believe? So tiring. Can this just stop? Don't i've enough things to be bothered about? Why isit that i still have to handle all these matters as well? This is crap, serious. I feel no love coming from friends, i feel that i'm being left alone. The feelings inside sucks, i feel so useless. Hais, i don't know what to do. I really don't know how. I don't know how to face certain people, i don't know how to talk to certain people now. I feel that.. Whatever i'm doing is wrong, whatever i say is wrong either. I'm shutting myself down from friends, don't ask me why. I don't know why either, hais. Maybe.. It's true that i'm crazy. It's true that.. I'm still a baby, who don't know how to think ):

Today.. Other than that, i'm very happy :D yea, seriously very happy okey. I saw loveeeee, & i'm super happy about that. I went down there to look at him, seriously like drama. I super sad, cos i didn't see him outside. So yea, Zhiyin went inside, & i followed behind her.. Seriously, i nearly pee inside my shorts. I open the door, just wanting to shout for Zhiyin right, i saw his head. Lol. Cool right? I guess, my eyes too small or something. Tsktsk. & to my surprise, he replied my msg already :D seriously am happy, yea.. Hahahahaha. I know i sounds crazy, but reallyyyyy. I'm happy :D he cut his hair, & he become fatter le. Tsktsk.

Pearline, Zhiyin:
I'm sorry. For making you both left being sandwiched in between. I thank you both so much for being there for me when i need someone, thanks for accompanying me go anywhere i want to :D thanks. & you, L.ZY.. Thanks for today :D you both are so lovedddd by me alright. Lol.

Sarah:
I'm sorry, for like attitude you these days. I'm sorry for hurting you so much. I don't know what's happening either. I guess, things is changing. But i hope you know this, i still love you okey :D still can sspeak to me when you need someone to talk to (:

Date : Sunday, March 15, 2009
Time : 9:01 PM
Title : I'm rich :D i've many sweets. Hehheh.

SEEEEEEE. I'm so rich. Lol. Yeh, i'm so happyyyyyy, i've so many many sweets :D hehheh. I'm gonna give them :D hahahahahaha. I'm so kind okey!

Suddenly.. I recalled something, i recalled you telling me that.. We'll meet during my holidays. Our condition right now, makes me can't believe what you say. Hais, i really want so much to meet you.. Even for just a second, i'll be contented. I can smile the whole day if i get to see you for just afew seconds. I asked you.. If you are not gonna talk to me again, yet you never want to reply. So.. What's the answer to it? How should i answer myself? If you no longer wants me, can you at least tell me.. &, at least i'll learn to let you go ): I tried controlling my emotions, but each time i tell myself not to cry for you anymore.. I failed, i failed to control my tears flowing down )': I missed you, so much so much. I missed telling you that, i miss you. When can i ever hug you, & whisper in your ears & say how much i missed you? ): I missed the sweet times we'd spent together. I'm wondering, what's your reaction when you read the msg. Hais, i'm scared. I've no courage to know what's your reply ): Or maybe.. You won't even bother so much about that msg of mine. Sigh.. I don't know what you want, exactly. Then you'll be happy. Hais, i guess.. Afterall, i don't understand you well enough.

Pearline, Zhiyin, Marilyn..
Thanks so much :D thanks for all the advices. Yes, i appreciate alot (: I'll learn to let go, in due time alright. Thanks loveeeee ;D

Stop asking me what's the condition now between me & friends. The same old answer, i don't bother anymore. So yea, please stop asking. I don't believe either side, i guess.. It should be enough to make up the answer.

Okay, byeeee :D

Date :
Time : 2:48 PM
Title : Photos & reply tags.

Pearline: Tiffany ! I also scare!=S. Well Cheer up! =D Don't think of the HAIR liao lah. hahas.
Reply: Lol, now i never thinkkkk le :D i'll cheer up luhs, don't worry. Hehheh.

Zhiyin: you must be PROUD OF YOUR CHINESE NAME BECAUSE YOU ARE CHINESEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
Reply: Lol, i'm so proud of my nameeeee. Hahahaha.

Chanel: STOP THINKING TT I DISLIKE EUUUUUU ! I LOVE EUUUUU , SOOOOOOOO STOP ! LOL . AHAHAHAHS .
Reply: (: Like i say, i don't bother so much already. So yeh, just.. Let things go lo.

Marilyn: it takes time to know someone girl.. impression do change.
Reply: Thanks :D i love you nahhhh. Hehheh.

Date :
Time : 1:49 AM
Title : Rantings.

I've been upset recently over certain stuffs. Over friends, over him. Crap, i know. Up to today, i realise.. All along, i'm just a fool infront of people.

I don't know which side is lying, i don't know who should i trust. Really, this make me speechless. Being neutral is just so difficult, i don't know which side to believe ): This held me back, i don't know who can i talk to in future. I really can't trust anyone now ): I thought, things will be just fine. But all along, i'm just like a big fool infront of people. I feel like leaving, i've the urge of doing so )': I'm confused. One side telling me this, & another side telling me that. Who should i believe? I don't bother much, i don't bother so much anymore. I'm tired of listening to people's tales. I've so much things wanting to say out, i seriously can't stand it already ): Should i? Hais, i'm troubled :/ I'll put it this way, i won't believe either side. I'll just.. Observe, & someday.. I'll find out the truth myself.

There's certain things, i wish i never know. There's certain things, i wish i could turn back the time. & that, i'll never ask anything ): I regret, regret asking. Regret doing certain things to lead to today. Yes, not to deny.. I've a feeling. Yes, all along.. I've a feeling inside. Serious, i feel that.. However wish that it's not true. Ever since that day, we never talk much anymore. Ever since that day, i've a feeling that you no longer likes me. I thought maybe it's me who is sensitive, so i went to ask someone. Even she says.. Hais, i went speechless immediately. I don't know what else to add on. I don't know why & what you're doing right now. After one incident, my impression towards you change totally. Really, seems that you're just using me. From then, i no longer want to talk much to you. That's because, i can't really seems to believe in whatever you're saying. That night, you called & tell me alot of stuffs about *. You told me how unhappy you're with *. So yes, i helped you. In the end? What's happening? The very next day, suddenly you & * is good friends like that. End up, * hates me. What crap is this? I'm disappointed in you, deep down. I don't know what else to add on, speechless :/

; Love, i'm thinking through alot of things these days. Days without you, seems that time is passing by so slowly. Days without you, i seems nothing. I don't know what to do right now, & you're no longer there to tell me what to do. I'm glad that at least, you still cared. But is this the truth that you still cared? Or.. You're just caring for a simple friend? You're gone, i no longer sees you. You left me behind, who will dry my tears when i cry? This few days, i really wish you're here. Nobody else can replace you so easily, why can't you understand this? Hais, i hope you know how important you're in my life. People say to give up, people say to let go.. Saying is easy, but doing is hard, so hard. I tried not to msg you, i tried not to call you. But, i missed you so much so much )': When will you ever turn back & take a look at me? I wish i could turn back the time, & i'll never say anything anymore ): If the time can turn back, i promise.. I'll not be childish anymore )': I promise.. I'll never tell you nonsensical things anymore )': All i want now is, just a meet up. I've many things want to ask & tell you. So much things, i know.. You'll never get to hear anymore. I want to ask you, how much i still meant. But somehow.. I've no courage in knowing that answer ): Love, i miss you so much so much. Hais. I'm waiting, waiting for your return.

I wish that, this never happens on me ):
Until today, then i realise that i'm a fool. I'm disappointed. Utterly disappointed, hais. Nobody will understand how i feel deep within.

Am i not a good friend enough? Ain't i always helping when needed? I feel so disappointed, i feel that.. Nobody's true ): Or isit true that, i'm just being used? I'm confused, i'm desperately looking for the answer. Someone, answer me.. Can? Someone, assure me that i'm not being used.. Can? Hais, i feel so useless. Being used, still don't know anything. People must be laughing at how pathetic i'm in right now. Go ahead & laugh then :/ I'm laughing at myself as well, great. I'm laughing, for i'm being used :D infact, it's true that.. I'm a dumbo. Infact, it's true that.. I'm naive. This is crap, so crap. Hais.

No mood to add on. Byeee.

Date : Saturday, March 14, 2009
Time : 11:39 AM
Title : If ever you understand me.

Alright, just a short post before i head over to grandma's. Yesterday night i'd a nightmare ): Tsktsk. I dreamt that i'm being locked in a blackblack room ): Wanted to msg him. But i must control. So yeh, msg Pearline & Weifeng instead. Lols. Came online, & tried putting photos into the laptop :D & yeh, i succeeded :D hehheh.

Please praise me, for i make my own breakfast :D yay! First time okey. Omgomgomg, i nearly die of lack of oxygen last night. Thanks to Weifeng's jacket._. Nah, i didn't wear to sleep luhs, i'm not crazy-.- I put it on my bed, for if i put it on the chair.. It will gone missing. So yeh, i place it over my babies. Then all the way, his strong jacket smell nearly suffocate me to death. But luckily, i still can wake up._. Lols, crap.

Shall end here, byeeeee :D

Pictures for yesterday:

Date :
Time : 12:16 AM
Title : Reply of tags.

Tags reply:

Zhiyin: you must be happy that i called you by uour chinese name which is BIXINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN.
Reply: I'm so touched._. Omg, my chinese name now whole world know liao please. Tsktsk.

Marilyn: wow! I saw my name HAHA!
Reply: Lol, yeh. You must be touched, right? Hahahaha.

Pearline: Cheer up !I know you can do it! I LOVE You !=D
Reply: Thanks girl :D i'll cheer up. Thanks for believing i can do it! Hahaha.

Sarah: oooolalaaaaa! Im so touched! ;D Iloveyou okays ^^
Reply: Omg, you're toucheddd. I'm so touched as well, the post that you posted :D hehheh.

Zhiyin: end up, we didnt even take picture. hahha
Reply: But today we did! :D & i loveeeee the pictures okey! Lol.

Kailian: waaa. ok lor... Sarah became e top of BGFF.. hahas! Anyway. HI SARAH.... (ex nursing classmate)
Reply: -.- Lol, who says? Hmmm, what makes you think so? Hahahaha.

Marilyn: HELLO!
Reply: Hello, back :D tag me moreeeee.

Thanks for the tags :D tag me moreeeeee! Hehheh.

Date : Friday, March 13, 2009
Time : 11:00 PM
Title : Will time ever turns back?

Like i mention in previous post, i'll enjoy today :D i did, at least enjoy myself today. School today was fineeeee. Wasn't late as well. Daddy fetch me to school, & he say he'll check out the pink notebook for me :D thanks daddy! I love youuu. Cos daddy promised me if my sugar level goes down, he'll buy me a notebook. Hehheh. I'm so happy okey. Lol. Reached school, & realised that i forgotten to bring my ez-link card out. Tsktsk ): Waited for Sarah & co to come before going up to class. Yeh, lesson was fine :D raining heavily when coming to end of OFC lesson. Tsktsk. But nice enough, Pearline accompany to take bus 12. Must be wondering how we walk to bus 12 right? Hahahahaha. Pearline brought a umbrellaaaaa. But small one lo. Hais, still must walk under the rain. But it was funnnn!~ Long time since i walk under the rain anyway. Lol.

Reached home, bathe & stuffs. Asked them to leave house, while i'm still at home searching high & low for my ez-link card. Lols, Sarah & Wilson is nice enough to travel to Pasir Ris to meet me up before going to City hall :D great! Hahahaha. Meet up with Pearline, Zhiyin & Amanda at Tampines station :D & my dear Zhiyin never tie her hair. Lol. Met up with Weifeng at City hall, & headed to Pizza Hut for lunch :D Weifeng brought his jacket for meeeee. It was HUGE okey! Really hugeeeee. Lol. Wanted to watch a movie, so headed to cinema to buy tickets for Coming Soon. First time watching horror movies at cinema okey! So i insisted on sitting in between Wilson & Weifeng. Went around to walk, started to emo again ): Cos he didn't msg me the whole day. So yeh, walked away without telling them. They came finding me aftermath, went back to the cinema. & i ignored Weifeng, for he said he don't want sit beside me ): I cried okey, cos he really never sit beside me. Went out, & cried rather badly.. Called Zhiyin & tell her i scared. Went back in, & realise Weifeng sit beside me already :D mood was cheered up of cos. Lols. The movie is real scary okey! Then i keep cover my ears & eyes, he keep laughing at me. Tsktsk. Throughout the whole movie, he's busy laughing! Hais, but certain part is funnyyyy :D but scary ): Storyline not bad, just.. Sound effect too scary already. Lols. Movie ended around 7plus like that. It was freezingggg! I was shivering okey, even when i'm wearing the hugeeee jacket._. Weifeng gave the idea of going to the IT Show. Gahhh :C that totally spoils my mood. Ignored him again, hais. I hate pushing here & there with people, still ask me to stand with the crowd._. Me & Pearline lost the two of them, so met outside instead :/ Dinner at foodcourt, & mood was better :D brought Weifeng's jacket home, for some reasons :/ Don't wish to elaborate further about that :D only me, Weifeng & Pearline knows. Lol.

After dinner, went to Minitoons. Serious, i don't feel like going off ): Cos i saw a pig bolster! Tsktsk, Weifeng wanted to buy for me. But too expensive already. Hais. I super sad okey! Left City hall around 9plus for home :D somethings happen, only Pearline knows. Until now, i'm still super scared okey! )': Super scared of the hair! Lol, go watch the movie, & you'll know what i'm talking about. I scared, i scared, i scared )': Hope tonight i can get to sleep, if not i'm gonna bomb Weifeng's phone ): I super scared okey, first & the last time i'm gonna watch horror movies in cinema )':

; The whole day, 3 msges. Are you happy with the progress that i've made? Are you happy that i've send you lesser msges? Though i didn't msg you much, but that doesn't mean i don't miss you. Infact, i missed you badly. How i wish, it was you beside me instead of someone else. How i wish, you're there for me today. When i was scared, crying helplessly. How i wish, but it all never came true. Should i say that.. It's fate that's playing us? Seems that, we no longer have anymore paths to walk. Seems that, this is the ending.. We no longer can turn back & walk on. I miss you, i miss you badly. Times with you, was greatly missed as well. How about you? Did you think about me before you sleep? Did you missed me, at least for a min everyday? I know that whatever i'm typing here is rubbish, for i know.. You'll never see this. You said i don't understand, but.. Do you understand me well enough to know that i need you badly now during this period of time? You don't understand, you'll never understand. For you never want to listen to my explanations. When i asked you whether i'm some kinda extra in your life, you simply brush off everything by saying.. I don't understand your msg. You know what i meant by sending you that msg. You know that i'm asking you whether to end this, but you never say to end. So am i suppose to wait helplessly for your turn back? I miss you, so much so much. Til the extend, i tried means & ways just to see you.. Even for a second, i'm contented. Will things ever get better? I'm wondering. When then can i realise, we're never meant to be? When then can i wake up, from this dream. I'm wondering if it's true, that i'm nothing without you.

Shall end here, photos will be up soon :D byeeeee.

Date : Thursday, March 12, 2009
Time : 6:24 PM
Title : Photos uploaded (:

I know that my eyes are small, don't remind me of that.. Tsktsk ):

The one i trust that whatever i tell her won't be leak out. I confide in her whenever i'm sad, whenever i'm crying. Though i don't know what makes us so close, but i know.. She's the only one who's willing to hear me talk when i cry ): Yes, the one whom i love most :D hehheh. Girl, you too alright. Cheer up! Although my words is abit fierce certain times, but i hope you know that i care alright? (: The one who can tahan my nonsensical craps & crazyness. I love youuuu my dear girl :D hehheh, love me moreeeeee. Lol.

The rest of the photos..

Pearline :D
I love her alot :D although she always don't want to come near me. Tsktsk ):

My 3 dear girls :D Pearline, Zhiyin, & Sarah.
& L.ZY is the one i can tell secrets to as well. I love her the second :D lol.

Zhiyin so shyyyy~


Tsktsk, Wilson's face so pathetic ):
Wilson is the one who can give me great advices. Serious, whatever i ask him.. He surely have answers to my questions :D yeh, we're much more closer now. He's my gooddddd friend. Lol.

Marilyn :D
We become much more closer i think only the end of last month :D only then, we started talking craps & stuffs :D & yeh, we do clickkkkk. I love her as well. Another one who can accept all my nonsense :D

I can't stop laughing at this photo. Lol. It's Weifengggg~
He's dumbbbb~ Yeh, always saying i'm dumbo ): Tsktsk. But yeh, he's a niceeee friend. To me at least, Lol. Overall, stil can make it luhs ._. Loveeeees.

Date :
Time : 5:40 PM
Title : If ever, you could turn back & look at me for one last time.

I don't know when will i understand that, we're never meant to be.
Yes, i cried badly today ): Reason is the same, because of him. I can't control, i really cannot take it anymore. Yes, then i kinda have a quarrel with him. I know that this cold war is gonna start again, & don't know when things will be fine for us again. Sigh.. I teared upon his reply again, & i scream okey. I bet Wilson had a shock. Yes, i screamed at the bus stop. Treat it as i'm crazy, cos many people was looking at me ): I cannot take it, i need to shout out. I'm sorry Wilson, this must be the most embarassing time you ever had with someone :/

Supposed to go for a movie Coming soon with Wilson & Weifeng just now. But due to me crying randomly for i don't know why..I cancelled it. Hais, i'm sorry ): Weifeng's ignoring me right now, for i've kinda promised them already. But yeh, tomorrow i'm going shopping with them :D Weifeng say to buy me a soft toy tomorrow. I love him to the max pleaseeeee. Hehheh.

School was great in the morning :D i reached school at 9.30am like that, lol. Miracle right? Lol, no luhs. It's because mummy fetch me to school :D both of us had breakfast there. Then met up with Pearline & co before going up the class. Break & i ate mangoooooo & honeydew :D still full, so just had fruits. Fruits is gooooood for health okey! :D hahahahaha. Then keep on steal Wilson's food to eat. Lol. Went outside to talk to Wilson, back to join them after chatting with him :D he so bad ): Tsktsk. Went for SBM lesson aftermath, & we cam-whored. Played the game with Wilson awhile before i join Pearline & Zhiyin for chat(s). All of them came to join us, & we start taking photooooos :D i'll upload it later. So yeh, we went off aftermath for OFC lesson :D went 4th floor to sit down awhile, before me & Sarah went for a walk :D gossipppppps start again. Lols. I wonder if that person got sneeze anot. Hahahaha. Mood starts to turn bad just before OFC ends, hais. I don't know why either. Cried rather badly while walking down the stairs, ALONE. Weifeng, & Wilson manage to make me smileeee again :D but went home, for i totally have no mood to watch any shows. Wilson is nice enough to accompany me take bus 12 although he live at Simei. Lols. Thanks, Wilson :D kinda emo all the way, thinking about certain things. & kinda had a quarrel with him as well. Now, no more chats ): I've no more tears to drop for him anymore. Cry until eyes swollen, also like that. He'll never knows ):

Tomorrow am going to shopping with Sarah, Pearline, Zhiyin, Weifeng, Wilson, & i don't know who else. But yeh, i'm going for the movieeee tomorrow :D it's a horror show, & i was like telling Wilson.. I must sit in between you & Weifeng, then when i scared, i can grab the both hands. Then Wilson say.. Then not you shout, become i shout liao lo. Then i ask him why. He say.. Cos you grab until pain mah. Hahahaha. Serious, i laugh like mad upon hearing that. Lols. But i'm gonna enjoy tomorrow with them :D

Alright, this post is too longgggggg~ I'll update photos at the next post :D

Date : Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Time : 7:03 PM
Title : I'm a happyyyyy girl :D

Lols! I know my blogskin cannot make it, come on. This is not acting cute, i just find this blogskin cute, & that's the reason why i used it ._. Not to mention, i'm still finding blogskin :D hehheh, a pig one okey! :D hahahahaha, something's wrong up there of mine. Kept finding childish skins ._. Bear with me people, i need to cheer myself up :D

Yes, not to deny.. Love start talking to me again. But really, i don't like the condition we're in now ): Still, kinda cold cold talks between us. Like machiam just know each other like that. But it's okey, i never anyhow think already. I need to smileeeee :D oh, before this cold cold thingy.. My phone have 300plus msg-es. Cool right? Lol, all is love's msg-es. But yeh, after this cold cold thingy start.. I delete all the msg-es at one goooo~ Serious, ain't kidding. Though when i was deleting, i kept wanting to press cancel. But i deleted allllllll. Am i hard-hearted? ): Hais, but i don't careeee. The longer i keep, the longer i know i'll think of him. So yeh, praise me :D make me highhhh!~ Lol.

School was great!~ At least, i enjoyed it. Omg, Marilyn finally came! Hahahahaha. Serious, like years since i saw her likethat ._. P.E was great, first time i enjoy my P.E lesson okey! :D yay! Finally Tiffany's enjoying her P.E. Whole class played Captain's ball. Unbelievable i'll join in, but i did! Not really much, cos the most time i was busy laughing. Lols. Damn funny please. Starting of the game Mr Mani says.. The losing team will have to do 30 sit-ups, 20 push-ups, & 10 star-jumps. Lol, i joined Bryan's group. Serious, i thought we'll win. Cos Bryan's the talliee. Hahahahaha. Game was fun :D i accidentally elbowed Raimi & i fell down okey! ): Not pain, cos i was there laughing like mad._. Alright, we lose! Wilson's team is 9points i think. While ours is 4points only. Crap, i know-.- But thank god Mr Mani end up help us. He also need to punish himself with all those punishment.. So he says.. Raining already, next week re-match. Hahahaha. So yeh, no punishments for us :D lol. & i'm happyyyyy~ I no need to suffer muscle cramps tomorrow. Hahahaha.

I'm lovingggg school :D yeh, school prevents me to stop all those negative thinkings. Good, right? Second day.. I never cry already. Yay with meeee! :D lol, every night if i recalled something, Wilson's gonna have a hard time explaining to me again. Cos i kept going the other way of what Wilson say. Lol, but he always managed to make me smileeeee :D i've such nice friends, yeh. I'm so happyyyy okey :D

Next Tuesday, & Wednesday's exams i cannot fail ): I'm gonna find a space in my brain to store all noteeeees. Yeh, i'll pass. With this 'genius' brain of mine, i know i'll fail-.- Ahhh, i'm going crazy.

Okey, i'll end here. Byeeeee :D tag me okeyyyyyy, people~

; Deleting everything from my mind, is something hard. I don't know when can you ever understand how much i do love you. I'm waiting, waiting for the day.. Where i can hug you tight, & never to let go again.

Date : Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Time : 10:37 PM
Title : Replying of tags.

Tags Reply:
Thanks for all the tags :D Do keep tags coming in. & i'll love youuuu more. Hehheh.

Date :
Time : 10:07 PM
Title : Random.

Randomly thinking of something you said.
You was calling my full name, & when i told you my name is Tiffany only.. You call me Tiffany only. You made my day a great one although it's lame. & when i told you my name is not Tiffany only, is Tiffany fullstop.. Then you call me Tiffany fullstop. I was laughing, though this is just a small thing that is not suppose to be remembered by me or you.. But i really did kept it inside. Every little things we did, will be kept inside my heart.

& not forgetting, you're always loved by meeeeeeee :D

Though things are slightly okay between us, but really.. I'm not happy with the condition we're in now. Yes, chats & stuffs. But is this true? Or.. It's just for a few weeks, & it'll be gone once again? Or are you just faking a smile infront of me? Tell me the truth, i want nothing.. But the truth. I'm happy with every minutes i've spent with you, even if there's tears in between.. But i'm contented. Cos i know, i'll never find anyone else like you. You're the only one, the special one.

I read all the history that we chatted over at msn, during December 08, & January 09. It was funny, memorable. It brings back many of our memories. It as well, brings back alot of tears & laughter. Thinking back, how much changes between the both of us.. Really makes me understand how fast a person can change. During January, February of this year.. We're still chatting happily, we're still very happy with each other's companion. March comes, which all the changes are made. Disappoint me deep down, making me crying over & over again. I suppose, March is the most times i've cry. So much, so much, i wish i could turn back the past. & i would keep everything to myself, i won't say a single word that will lead to all these changes. Saying all these.. I missed you ): I miss you, so much so much. Talking about how much we've spent time together, talking about how happy we were.. Make me smile & tear. Make me feel happy & sad. Asking myself, is this gonna end soon? Asking myself, do i still likes you as much as compared to the past? I don't know, i no longer know how to answer myself.. With a question like this. I just know.. You're still that important to me, from past til now.. Your position in my heart stays, i never had left you far behind. What about you? Have you place me far behind? Am i still the special one in your heart? Having so many questions in heart, i don't know when can i ask you.

Tiffany.C

Date :
Time : 6:44 PM
Title : HELLOOOO.

Alright, first thing i need to say. I'm fine already. Thanks all for concern :D be it tags, msn, msg-es & others. I appreciate :D yehhh, i'm really fine this time round. No more crying over all this already. Don't worryyyy~

Okey, i went for bloodtest today :D praise me, cos i'm braveeee! I didn't cry okey. I just.. Keep telling the nurse that i scared & OUCH. Hahahaha. I'm gonna die soon, die because loss of blood okey. The nurse take so much blood from my body lo. One big big tube okey ): So poor thing right? Haiii. Afterthat, went to Tampines Mall for lunch :D today is great! At least, i enjoyed it. Hehheh.

Alright, i edited my blogskinnnnn :D i know it's childish, but i loveeee it okey! Hehheh, comment it :D Lols.

Okay, i shall end here. Byeeeee :D i'll reply tags tomorrow.

Date : Monday, March 9, 2009
Time : 6:41 PM
Title : Crazy thoughts.

I'm disappointed, i'm speechless. Deep down, asking how much i do likes you.. Deep down, asking how much you meant to me. Really, i've gone speechless. I no longer know how to answer myself. Asking myself how much hurt i've gotten from you. Asking myself how much tears i've waste on you. Countless, really countless. I don't know how much i like you. I don't know how much you actually meant to me. I'm disappointed, really )': I tried to stop thinking of you, i tried to do other things to stop me from thinking.. But i can't. Whenever i'm alone, things get out of hand. All your images flow back into my mind once again. I really dislike myself, from thinking so much. I sent you many msg-es, you never want to reply me ): I'm sad, really very sad. I'm disappointed, really disappointed. I've so much wanting to tell you.. I've so much words wanting to hear from you. I miss your voice, love ): I miss everything. All these come so fast.. All these end so fast as well, i really am missing you okey )':

Yesterday.. You tell me that you're sick, tired after a long day. Saying that you don't feel like talking.. I'm sorry, sorry for irritating you. I'm sorry, for not knowing that you're sick ): Treat it as i'm still a kid, i don't understand you well enough.. But, does that mean you can ignore me? )': Is there a reason for you to ignore me? Hais, treat it as i'm thinking too much. I hate myself for dropping tears every now & then. It's tiring.. Tired of crying, really. I've been crying for the past few days. Never fail, i'll cry everyday. I don't know how to control my tears )': Love, i really miss you.. So much so much ):

Thank you very much, for making me cry for you over & over again.

P/S: tomorrow i'm going for bloodtest.. Please hope that i'll be alright, or not.. I'll never blog again.

Date : Sunday, March 8, 2009
Time : 1:28 PM
Title : Long post.

I cried again ): Yes, i know i mention it in my previous post that i'll never cry again.. But i can't control, i really cannot take it. Treat this as i'm lying or whatsoever, but who can take it? ): I msg Sarah ): I super sad, really very sad. Decided to msg Wilson as well, have got some issues to ask him :/ His msg-es make me cry so badly okey. Too straightforward already i guess )': Went home at around 11plus 12am. Bathe, eat & sleep.

Later i'm going over to grandma's again. I won't cry today, i hope i won't ): I don't want people to see the weak side of me. I gotta be strong, yes.. Strong.

I'm a good girl the past few days, other than crying.. I've been avoiding sweetsweets. Yes, i mean it okey. I haven't been consuming sweetsweets & sweet drinks the past few days. Omg, unbelievable.. I drank fresh milk okey. Hai, i dislike it.. But nevermind, i'll go for bloodtest soon. & if it shows that i've nothing wrong, omg.. I'll surely buy ribena sweetsweet straight away & eat it :D

; Recalling every single things we've done together, make my heart ache. Recalling all the sweet talkings, make my tears drop. Recalling all the silly actions you give, make me smile. Will you ever come back? I miss you, so much so much )': Many told me :'Girl, it's time to let go.' All i told them was, thanks.. Do you really understand how i felt deep within? How can you change so fast? I did nothing wrong, i didn't say anything wrong either. One of them told me :'So obvious he don't like you le.' That makes my tears flow like free )': My heart tightens up, really.. My heart really aches alot ): I need to be alone, i'm depressed. I'm sad, i'm just.. Crazy )':

I met someone & i thought he could replace you. We got along just fine, we wasted time because he was not you. We had a lot of fun, though we knew we were faking. I found this one thing is true, that I'm nothing without you.

Tags reply:

Date : Saturday, March 7, 2009
Time : 1:36 PM
Title : Random.

Alright, i'm fine already :D thanks for concern, people. Nah, not that i'm okay with him already. Just.. Know that i should think positively. Yesterday's cries make me think alot. Yes, i should stand up from where i fall. I don't know how long i'll take, but i know.. There's people who's willing to wait til i stand up from where i'd fell (:

Mistakes make people stronger. Learn from mistakes, don't repeat it. I want to learn from my mistake, not to fall for someone so hard, til i can't get out when i need to. After this complicated relationship, i know i won't go into relationship for a few months. I know i'll need a long time to really forget everything, & to move on with my life happily. From the start, people have been telling me how difficult will this relationship be if i want to continues with him. I didn't bother, i didn't put what they say into my heart. I just knew.. If i'm with him, i know that everything is nothing.. He's the one that counts, that meant everything for that period. He used to reject his friend's meeting just to meet me, he used to sacrifice many things just for me. Things changed, now.. We're in a real bad condition. First time, i'm really really tired to continue. I want to let things go, for he's never mine. He'll never be mine one day, everything will go one day as well. It's the matter of time, even if i enjoy the next few months, years with him.. He's still gonna have his own family afterwhich.

Loving him, many things i no longer can do. Going out openly with him, is just so difficult. We're just like 2 criminals, hiding from people's view & stuffs. All these is difficult. & that's the reason, he spent so much money on me. Whether isit because he missed me, or just wanted to find someone to talk to.. Don't really bothers me much now.

Forgetting him, i know i cannot do it.. I'm still learning how to go on with days without msg-ing him, without talking to him. It seems easy, but.. It's really really difficult for me. I tried going for someone else when he didn't talk to me for 2 months, but i failed. My feelings for him, afterall didn't fade away. Things are about to end soon, but i'm still the naive, silly one who stood by him.. Waiting for his turn back. I know that it's time, it's time to move on. It's time to put this down, & start living my life a happy one. It's time to let him go. It's really time. I'll, i'll try to stop, stop everything that will make me to stay again :/ I can't promise i can forget him fast, but i can promise.. I'll try to forget him.

You're just like a kite, if i held on too tightly.. The string will breaks, & i'll never get you back anymore. Now, i've fly you too high.. I'm trying my best to keep you back. The string is breaking soon, yet.. I haven't keep you back. Am i a failure? A loser?

; I miss everything we once done, i miss all the words you said.. I miss the way you lie on my leg & sleep. I miss you patting me to sleep, i miss you kissing my tears away. I miss you hugging me tightly. I just.. Miss everything of you ): I want you back, i really want you back. I've many things to ask you. I haven't clear all my doubts yet, love ):

Date : Friday, March 6, 2009
Time : 10:21 PM
Title : Random.

Reading Sarah's blog.. Suddenly, i feel that my life is so short. I feel that my life is full of regrets.

From the start, i've love someone wrongly. I shouldn't have had express my feelings towards him even when he confessed everything to me. I shouldn't have had believe him that he wouldn't leave me. Maybe, he's not the one for me. Or maybe.. The other way round, i'm not the one for him. His words touched my heart deeply, to the extend.. It's hard for me to fall for other guys now. People who know me well enough will know that i'll fall for someone easily. Forgetting someone isn't easy, saying is easy. Doing it is difficult, very difficult. There's only one chance in a lifetime, choose the right thing to do. Walking this path, isit a right one? Or all along, i haven't been moving on? I don't know what lead me to this path, really i don't know. There's happiness between us, sadness between us, quarrels between us.

Life with you, was a great one. I learnt alot of things when i'm with you. With you, everything seems to be just right for me. With you, i know you'll correct everything that i've done wrong. Time passes quickly, 1 year have passed. We knew each other for 1 year. Yes, i'm glad knowing you. Now, we've a bad condition. I know i could go through this, with no more tears. Tears have been flowing down this few nights. I know i gotta control my tears, i gotta control it from flowing down. I'll, i know i can go through this with a smile.

I just.. Somehow, miss everything we once did. All the talks, all the msg-es.. All his msg-es, make my heart aches. But.. I'll go through this with a smile. I know i can do it.

Date :
Time : 5:24 PM
Title : I miss you, so much so much.

I feel so pathetic. I feel so.. I don't know how to describe. Just felt so low inside. I felt that i'm being treated as a patient, more than a normal human being right now )': My back isn't well, my health isn't well as well. But i don't like to be treated as patient like that ): I felt so weird, i'm totally alright. Gahhh :C i don't know what else to say, i'll just.. Keep it inside til the accurate result is out.

Yesterday went for movie with sister, cousins, & Allan along :D watched Kungfu Chefs. Alright luhs, not really that bad than what i expected. Show ends at 11plus. Wanted to walk home, but it was raining :/ Still pathetic, gotta run to the bus-stop. I didn' t really run, my slippers is slipperly luhs ._. Reached home at 11plus going 12am. Bathe, eat & sleep :D

Today just had 1 hour of CRN lesson, & end of school day ._. Lol, i know this is crap.. But, hahaha. Lucky i went, or not.. I won't know the schedule for March. & yep, March is a busy month for me. Yes, tests are all coming out. Gotta start studying soon, yes.. Real soon. Hehheh. Alright, went to Wilson's house aftermath :D with Pearline along.. Went to explore his house, his bed is bigggg~ At least bigger than mine ._. Omg, i helped him to fix his computer. Hm, actually not me who fixed it. I helped him to call the person, & that person explained & stuffs. I made some effort at least. Hahahaha. Went to WhiteSands to meet Weifeng, went to Hongkong Cafe for lunch :D the food is bad ): Maybe i'm not used to the taste or something.. They ban me from milktea ): I was only allowed to have 1 sip. But i drank 2 sips instead :x I already tried to go less on sugar already okey! Went to MoreThanWords after lunch, i saw 2 pigs i want )': But i got no money, i uber upset. I want to get it, i'm saving money right now. Over to another shop, Wilson bought me a pig :D hehheh, that makes me smile again. To thank me for fixing his computer. Lol, great! :D I bought my pens & notebooks, & went separate ways with Weifeng & Wilson. Shortly, Pearline went to take bus 12 while i took 359 home :D

; I hope.. We can at least meet one day this March. I don't want to miss any chance anymore. Our chances of meeting is getting lesser & lesser. Love, i don't wish to end off everything yet, when i don't even know anything. I don't want to end off everything yet, when i still have doubts within ): I miss you, so much so much. I wish i could spend all my time with you. I'm depressed, i'm sad.. I miss all the times when i'm with you. I really want more time with you, there's alot of things i haven't yet do with you, there's alot of things i haven't yet tell & ask you ): I miss the way you hold me to sleep. I miss the way you kissed my forehead. I miss the way you hug me tightly before we left for home. I miss the way you wipe my tears away when i cried badly, i miss the way you kiss my tears away ): I miss the way you scold me rubbish. I miss the way you call me girl, especially )': Nobody, nobody could do all these. Nobody could make me smile again when i cry. I tried, i tried hard forgetting all these, but.. I can't. I really have alot of things to ask you, i really have alot of things to tell you ): Seeing our condition right now, makes my heart really really aches )':
; Sorry, i apologies for all crap, nonsense, rubbish.

Ended post, again.. With tears,
Tiffany.

Date : Thursday, March 5, 2009
Time : 7:51 PM
Title : Love, you're always the one.

Regarding all my previous posts, i thank all of you for your concern. & i apologies for all the upset posts :D yep, i'm fine now. Thanks all, i love youuuuu. Hehheh.

Today, i'd OSA exam. It was great, okay.. I know this is crap, but the paper is seriously easy although i know i made alot of mistakes. Hahahaha. I managed to finish in an hour's time. Hehheh. Aftermath was break, me & Weifeng went to find Yeetheng & Michelle for the laptop thingy. Afterthat, cab over to Tampines Mall. The rest went to Swensens while the four of us went to Pastamania :D it was niceeee. But i eat until my stomach not feeling well lo ): Hehheh, standard. Afterthat, went to stalk him. Hahahaha. I saw him okey! :D & i too shy already. Lol. Weifeng help me to buy fries, while i stand at the corner stalking him. Hahaha. Didn't even talk to him lo, he's busy luhs. Back to school aftermath.

SBM's roleplay seriously make me laugh like mad. We went outside to practice & stuffs, we laugh non-stop. Serious, it was real funny especially when Shayne must fake angry. Then Weifeng's the manager, he button his uniform also can button wrongly. Make me laugh like shit ._. Practice & practice, went inside.. & i can't stop laughing. Especially when Shayne bang the table. Seriously, i jumped up. My turn to be unreasonable, my voice starts to shiver. Hahahaha. Can't stand, super funny. Overall was alright. Teacher say our group's greeting marks was the highest. Hehheh, i'm so happy :D & the scenerio is good okey! Of course, is i think up the script one lehhh. Hehheh, self-praise :D cafe 2 aftermath to join Yeetheng, Michelle, & Guoming. Weifeng, & Wilson along. Sat there, view blogs, facebook & stuffs. Bus-ed home aftermath :D a great dayyyy~

About my back & health, i appreciated all care & concern be it tags, msn, or msg-es :D yep, i'll be fineeee. No worry, i'll control my diet. I'll watch what i eat. Next week i'll go for another checkup :D it'll turn out fineeeee. Hehheh. I scared already, after mummy told me what will happen if i really get the illness ): Yesterday i went online to check whether how high was my sugar level was.. 4.9 to 6.0 is normal. Mine is 5.3/6.0, great? 0.7 more is super high already ._. Alright, i won't eat so much ribena sweet sweet already ):

I'm going for a movie now. Yes, at this time. Lol, with Bedok friends & cousins. Byeeee.

Date : Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Time : 7:40 PM
Title : I need a break.

Suddenly, i realise how precious life is to me. Unhappy things happened, i always thought of dying & stuffs.. But after today, i know i should cherish my life more. I was afraid, til i shiver. Serious, i was very scared that my health have got something wrong ): But, luckily.. Nothing happens.

Speaking of it.. I went to see doctor today morning. Really, i dragged myself to the polyclinic at 8am. Doctor say i sprained my back ): That's why will pain. She gave some medicine to eat, to relieve the pain.. But it don't works ): Was super pain during OSA lesson, so yep.. I ate it. Was super duper bitter okeys! But i'm a good girl, i manage to swallow it. Serious, i can't swallow at first. I drank water, still can't swallow ): Then afterthat, i forced myself to swallow. Yes.. Like small kid eating medicine like that. Okey, i was super drowsy aftermath. Serious, i feel that i'm flying. I felt so light okey. I feel that i'm floatingggg. I wanted to sit on the chair, but i missed it :/ I just felt so sleepy, & giddy. Gahhh :C went for P.E, i told mates something.. & deciding to go for a check up. Yeetheng & Michelle accompany me go for the checkup, serious.. I was scared. Really really scared. Bloodtest & stuffs, turns out that my sugar level is 5.3, ain't sure whether isit okey anot. But doctor say quite high. I ain't sure, gotta go back for another checkup next week. Bloodtest is uber pain okeys )':

Same old thing, yesterday.. I cried myself to sleep again )': Yes, i feel so miserable inside. Hai, 1 week is coming to an end soon.. Yet i haven't got the chance to see love. I feel that.. We no longer have fate. Yes, we're still in contact & stuffs. I'm already trying hard not to contact him. It's hard, really very hard. Saying i don't miss him, saying i don't like him anymore is all lies. I miss him, i miss him alot alot. I like him, still. Nothing change, esp.. My feelings towards him. I know i'll disappoint my friends badly if i'm still close with him. But.. I'm already trying )': Please don't be disappointed with me okeys :/ Give me time, i'll let go of everything.. In due time.

Yep, i'm crazy these days. Laughing, joking, disturbing people. Yes, the reason why i'm like this is because i want to keep myself from thinking all sorts of negative stuffs. That's the only solution left ): Nothing else, i just need to cheer myself up :D tomorrow i'm having SBM role play, & OSA access exam. Lol, please wish my goodluck alright. Hopefully, i won't be late for the exam tomorrow. Or not... Gah gah gah, dead~

Anyway...
Regarding about my back & health... Thanks for the concern, though today's result shows that there's nothing wrong.. But then the doctor say that this is not the accurate one. The accurate one will be next week, so yep.. Wish me good luck :D i very sad ): Now i'm being ban from so many things. Sweet especially! I sad, i uber sad, i super sad. No sweet = No life okey! )': But for the sake of my health.. I gotta learn how to say NO to sweet :/ & even sweet drinks okey! Imagine how i'm gonna spend my whole day with no sweet drinks? ): Nevermind, i'll try.

P/S: please hope that i'll be alright. & please keep tags coming in :D
Alright, i'll be back tomorrow. Byeeeeee :D