Date : Sunday, March 1, 2009
Time : 1:51 PM
Title : Is this the end?

Yesterday i didn't come home. Yes, i overnight at chalet again :D This time round, not with friends. With family instead. It was raining heavily when i reach there. Not much food left for us to eat though :/ Stayed in the room all the way til rain stops, before going home to bring clothes back to chalet. Yep, love called me. But i didn't answer ): He didn't want to call me back, as he thought i was busy. But called me back when i was in car. Didn't talk much, as mummy is in car. Yep, ended the call. He called me again when i reached chalet. This time round, we talk more :D but.. Our talks are abit cold ): He's probably very tired, & therefore the coldness? Hai, i gotta make myself think positive right now. Alright, went back to the room aftermath, & watch 'Get Smart'. It was funny.. & i slept at 3plus going 4am. Waking up at 9plus is something impossible, but i managed to :D went for breakfast at foodcourt. E!Hub to buy watches & home.

Tomorrow i'm having OFC role play. & great, i haven't start memorising yet. Oh, i nearly forgotten that tomorrow i'm having CRN test, until i viewed my classmate's blog. Great, eh? Lol. I know i'm gonna flung both badly ): Nevermind, i'm gonna start memorising the script after this post. I will, okay! :D

Back to my own thoughts & feelings.
I've been thinking through alot of things these days. I'm wondering, should i just let go everything that stops me from moving on? Should i start anew? Should i start moving on? I've been day-dreaming since last year. I've always thought that this will be long. I've always thought that, i'll be happy with him. But.. Time passes, & everything shows. It's the truth that, he don't like me as much as compared to the past. I wouldn't dare to use love as to describe his feelings towards me. Many people often tell me that me & him is impossible, how much i defended him, how much i say & scold people about saying this.. Makes me suddenly feel that i'm stupid. Many people, drift away from me is partly because of him. After that day, i feel that.. All along, he didn't like me as much. Am i just thinking too much? Or it's the fact right infront of me? I don't know whether what i am doing now is right, or the other. Every relationship i've, always fails. I feel so.. Useless. I tends not to hold on to people who's nice. Yet.. I'm always holding to people that is not a nice one. Should i end off everything? Should i just let him go? Should i start anew? Should i just move on? I must learn to be independent, not relying on him too much ): I'm sad, oh fcuk. People must be laughing at me right now ):

; Love, our talks these days are cold ): I don't like this. Infact, i hate this. When i tell you that i want to meet you.. Normally, you'll say see when you're free to meet. But yesterday, to my surprise.. You reply me saying that you're not free. You're angry, you feel stupid talking about me. All along, do you feel stupid talking about me also? Do you feel stupid entertaining me? I hate you for using entertaining on me. I didn't treat you as a clown, why are you entertaining me then? Love, you know it.. You know how much you meant to me. These days, you made me feel like not to contact you anymore. I've this thought plant inside my mind now. I've this thought of ending off everything. You made me tired of holding on. My tears dropped, when you say you feel stupid talking about me. You know it well enough that i cry easily. You didn't want to talk to me. I don't know what make this changes. You change, again. Not once, not twice. But this is the third time you change. Why can't you remain as where you are right now? I'm sad, i'm really really sad ): Maybe.. Your feelings towards me have faded away. Now, i guess i should learn how to live without you ): I will, i know i can.

Ended this post with tears,
Tiffany.